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Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.This year’s winner was a real rocket scientist...Read on ... And remember that each and every one of these is TRUE.And the nominees were: Semifinalist #1A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk ... Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.Semifinalist #2Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It a appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed ... They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.Semifinalist #3A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was. Rho stopped her tirades long enough to give me a look filled rather with incomprehension than with fury. She did not know what to think of the contraption in my hand, but was in doubt about my good intentions.With my free hand I sized her head unceremoniously from beneath, using a special grip that put unbearable pressure on the jaw joint within reach. Rho opened her mouth automatically, both to lessen the pain and to reward me with a distinctive scream.When I had finally manoeuvred the ring into place, my fingers were pretty sore. She had bitten me several times, but luckily parts of the gag-gear caught in her mouth had prevented worse injuries.I wiped her saliva off my hands with my shirt, letting the complex tack dangle for the moment. The metal loop was so large that I had had to angle it in order to wedge it between her jaws. Rho would not be able to push it out in time.With fingers dry again and less smarting, I attended to the most satisfying business of harnessing my unruly.
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